I Spy(der) With My Little Eye & Other Fun Games

When Guns and Roses sang Welcome to the Jungle, they must have been talking about my life! What a week we’ve had! It started off on a positive note after the crapness of the week before. It couldn’t have got any worse really with my epic work meltdown over two days. Talk about tears and tantrums! Anyway, I’d decided that I needed to separate my work and home life as I was becoming a right moody bitch at home and it had sent my poor kids running to the Xbox for comfort. The new me seemed to be working, I wasn’t letting anything get in the way of my quest for happiness.

On Tuesday, things started to go downhill slightly. When I collected the Kray twins from the childcare provider, I was called in as A had decided to scream his lungs out on the walk back from school and had embarrassed the lady collecting him. While we were discussing this, L skipped back up the path and said ‘Fuck You’! I didn’t know where to look first and my mouth became unhinged. I apologized and ushered my wayward kids back to the car muttering to them under my breath. That was their burger treat out the window which meant I had to bloody cook when I got in. Sensing that mom was a little bit pissed off, A disappeared into the kitchen, coming out 5 minutes later with a cup of tea for me. Then he offered to make a cake…. some serious brownie points awarded for that.

With a banana cake cooking away, he sidled up, put his head on my shoulder and this happened,

A: “I think you should go on a dating website.”

Me: “Why would I do that when I have my two little fellas?”

A: “Because you need a proper man mommy”

Me: “Mmmm I’m not so sure”

Well I suppose he’s looking out for me….!

As you might guess from the title of the post, a small invader appeared in my bedroom. I opened my eyes when the alarm went off this morning and spotted something on my cream curtains…. something 8-legged and parading around like he owned the gaff. I closed my eyes again, hoping I’d either got it wrong or my eyes were out of focus and it wasn’t really the size of a horse. Nope, it was still there and I realised that was why the cat was scrabbling around in the corner last night. Like a ninja, I grabbed the nearest heavy object whilst still lying horizontal and took a swipe at it. Unfortunately, it was the other side of the curtain and I’d swiped at it’s shadow. Shergar the spider had plopped on the floor and scurried off, before I had chance to put my glasses on. By now, I’m jumping up and down on the bed, waking both kids up. “Help me, help me”, I shouted, “Grab a torch!”. A armed himself with the torch, L had the maiming weapon (hardback book) and I moved the bedside table. “There it is mommy!” shouted L and it had scuttled past my foot from under the bed. “Aaarrrghh!” I shrieked, as Shergar curled himself up to make himself as small as he could. I had to hit the bugger 5 times before he surrendered (sorry spider fans, but in my experience they always come back in and I’ve had one walk across my neck while I’ve been in bed). We could have put a saddle on this monster and entered it in a rodeo! To make my arachnophobia worse, one walked across my desk whilst I was on the phone. It took all my willpower not to shout down the phone. Instead I whacked it with the post book!!

Here’s hoping for a quiet weekend!! Have a good one peeps 🙂 x

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